My Friendly Letter To The Devil Overlord

Dear Lucifer,

This is Penelope Grace, a fan of your work and your forked tongue. As your servant, the Princess of Thrones, would you be so kind to send us more minions and demons? I feel like we are losing too many of them to salt and exorcisms. They go back to Hell, but they refuse to come back to us. We have Dean Winchester on our side as the Knight of Hell, but Sam Winchester keeps on torturing and killing our numbers. And that crossroad demon, Crowley, keeps on claiming himself as the King of Hell.

Due to the very respectful tone of mine, would you kindly send us a thousand demonic souls? We are buying up as many souls as we can, but we still need more power. Thank you, Overlord.

Also, I wouldn't mind selling a few souls so I can publish my books. Thank you, Our Overlord. Please, note that I myself do not have a soul. I sold it long ago to have that ability to write awesomely.

Your humble servant, 

Penelope Grace, the Princess of Thrones