As a courtesy to all parties involved with this Contract, Grace & Steele is willing to provide extensive written details on the exact terms of the soul-exchange. As servants under the Overlord Lucifer, Grace & Steele is pleased to obtain your soul along with some minor obligations and rules. State, US, international laws do not apply, though spiritual laws of Hell do.
Introduction.
This is a Contract between Grace & Steele and Your Name Here. The most basic agreement is an exchange for your soul. Grace & Steele would provide all forms of humorous entertainment and advice in the written English language, with some exceptions (see Article 2, Section 1). The other party, Your Name Here, is expected to give Grace & Steele their soul and anything else of requirement as long as the request is sent and received within the first thirty days after the signing of this Contract.
Article 1.
This article explains the two main parties involved and the requirements that are expected of them. Overlord Lucifer is also explained and clearly stated in the Contract.
Section 1.
The party, Your Name Here, will seal the agreement with a kiss from Grace & Steele after signing the Contract. After signing and the soul-taking, the party is expected to do one or more of the following choices: 1) subscribe to the blog, Grace & Steele, 2) follow their Bloglovin' page, 3) like their Facebook page, 4) follow their Twitter account, or 5) do all of the above.
Any violation of Contract by either parties involved will result in a fitting corporal punishment in Hell, the home of the demons and fallen angels and our Overlord Lucifer. Options and further details for corporal punishments are explored in Article 7.
Section 2.
Grace & Steele's side of the Contract will be stated fully and correctly in this section. As expected, these two Princesses of Hell are very skilled in any written contracts and agreements. Be sure to read every word of this contract fully and carefully. Or not.
Penelope Grace, Princess of Thrones and Writer/Author of this written Contract, will write articles (varying from the simple "Our Journey So Far" to "Advice For Writers" to "Weekly Muse) as needed for the other party's entertainment. She is responsible for answering questions sent by email to Grace & Steele's question mailbox. Grace & Steele's email is clearly stated in the "About Us" page.
Alex Steele, Princess of Blood (or Blood Princess, an acceptable form of her title), will also write articles ("Our Journey So Far" to "Advice For Writers" to "Weekly Muse") like Penelope Grace, the administer and co-blogger of Grace & Steele. Controlling both the Bloglovin' and Twitter account of Grace & Steele, she is responsible for letting demon followers about our operation (codenamed "Soul Collecting"). She may provide the final sealing of the Contract, the kiss. The sealing of the Contract will be further described in Article 6 (below).
Section 3.
Lucifer, as the real King of Hell and father of all demons, holds all rights towards every contract signed and kissed with Grace & Steele. Any possession gained by Grace & Steele could be rightfully obtained by the Overlord Lucifer with no questions asked from Grace & Steele.
However, due to his status and current location in a certain part of Hell, the Overlord Lucifer may request Grace & Steele's humble assistance in his great and extraordinary rising from Hell. Grace & Steele may not be reachable within the timeframe of October the First of this year, twenty hundred and fourteen years anno domini, to October's Hallow's Eve of the same year, twenty hundred and fourteen years anno domini. They will be out of office at any certain and unpredictable time, and any emergencies of the other party, Your Name Here, may not be solved within seventy-two hours of the emergency emails, emergency snail mails, emergency phone calls, or/and emergency telepathical thoughts to Grace & Steele.
Article 2.
This article expresses the exceptions and miscellaneous subjects of the Contract and explores amendments to the Contract.
Section 1.
As stated above in the Overview section, Grace & Steele is expected to provide humorous entertainment and advice in the written English language with some exception. Exceptions include serious post notifying demons of the latest angel and archangel movements from many demonic and human spies of every age, race, and gender. It is known for Grace & Steele to send out warnings to their demonic following about dangerous angels and wanted people of every type of species, race, gender, age, and power. The other party, Your Name Here, is required to hunt these creatures the Overlord Lucifer deemed dangerous and threatening.
Other exceptions should be noted. For example, it is not required for Grace & Steele to provide humorous entertainment and advice in written English. They are allowed to write in any language they feel comfortable writing in, whether it is Spanish, French, Latin, Mandarin, Korean, or Elvish. In addition, they are not required to provide written words, symbols, or hieroglyphs. Youtube videos, pictures, and music are also forms of humorous entertainment and advice.
Section 2.
It is declared impossible to void the Contract by either parties involved. There will be no exceptions, "party favors," and gifts given to Your Name Here, unless they are already stated in this Contract. Failure, as stated previously, results in corporal punishment after the death of the other party, Your Name Here. Forms of corporal punishment is fully and correctly stated in Article 7.
All favors will be carried out within the first two weeks after sealing of the Contract. Details of the sealing of the Contract are clearly stated in Section 6, Section 3. Rights of Your Name Here is stated in Article 3. Rights of Grace & Steele and the Overlord Lucifer is obviously stated in Article 4.
Section 3.
Amendment of the Contract is possible, though termination of Contract is impossible. To amend a section, subsection, clause, or article of the Contract, either party must send a polite email with clear wording, good grammar, and concise language. If not, then the party with bad grammar, terrible wording, and lengthy wordy language will be sentenced to the Void for an incalculable number of Hell years, determined by the fair and just Overlord Lucifer.
It should be noted that Grace & Steele are unsurpassable demon princesses with great amount of skill and charm. They are said to be irreplaceable by any simple demons. After the deaths of lesser demons of similar power belonging to Grace & Steele, Grace & Steele are declared equal to none but themselves. Few beings are more powerful than the two Princesses of Hell.
If amendment is passed, then both parties must resign the Contract and perform the sealing of the Contract to twelve witnesses. Further details of the sealing of the Contract is stated in Article 6, Section 3.
Subsection A.
The amendment passed must be followed by both parties. However, if any order or action of Your Name Here results in utter and complete failure, then the consequences of that failure will be doubled.
Article 3.
This article declares the rights of Your Name Here. The other party, Grace & Steele, can not take the rights away, unless amendments were passed and failure of some given action or order was resulted.
Section 1.
The section focuses on the soul. After the signing of the Contract, Your Name Here no longer possesses their soul. Therefore, Your Name Here has no rights over their soul. Grace & Steele are free to do whatever to the soul as they see fit. If Your Name Here wishes to be changed into a true-blooded demon, then Your Name Here can send a detailed email explaining their case. As said before, the email address is placed in the "About Us" page of graceandsteele.blogspot.com.
The soul will be taken right in the sealing of the Contract. More details are given in Article 6, and the explanation of the ritual is explained and revealed in glorious details.
Section 2.
The section focuses on the body. The other party's body is required to of what Grace & Steele ordered to do. To see the orders and assignments given to the other party by Grace & Steele, see Article 1, Section 1 for more details.
The other party, Your Name Here, are allowed to do some activities (see Article 3, Section 2, Subsection A), but they are required to hunt for those wanted by Grace & Steele. Some actions such as hunting Grace & Steele and attempting to burn their bones are a clear violation of the Contract. For more information on violations of Contract, please see Article 5.
Subsection A.
This subsection contains the activities and actions allowed by the demon princesses, Penelope Grace and Alex Steele.
Clause 1.
Eating, drinking, and breathing are all rights of Your Name Here. Your Name Here is allowed to take any amount they need from the plentiful supply of Earth. Grace & Steele recommend a good diet of bloody steak and baby shrimps. Also, angel blood has been proven to be an excellent source of protein and good enzymes.
Due to several incidents involving breathing, Grace & Steele reminds Your Name Here that oxygen is still required for the soulless human body to survive and live unless Your Name Here has been turned into a demon or is a demon or of other supernatural creatures. Penelope Grace herself reminds Your Name Here that air cylinders or containers of helium, carbon dioxide, hydrogen, helium, phosgene, and chlorine are not recommended sources for air.
Clause 2.
Friendship is a right of Your Name Here and encouraged by Grace & Steele. Recommending friends to Grace & Steele's blog will not only elevate you in their favor but also recruit souls to Lucifer's battle.
Clause 3.
Your Name Here has a right to Internet, the World Wide Web. Once Your Name Here signed up with us, Grace & Steele support the idea of free Internet for all people and unlimited hours on the Internet without being bothered by 1) mothers, 2) fathers, 3) brothers, 4) sisters, 5) stalkers.
In addition to the above paragraph, Grace & Steele will employ a team of demon hackers to destroy all viruses, worms, spyware, adware, bugs, scareware, ransomware, trojan horses, trolls, and haters.
Clause 4.
Your Name Here is free to play any sports, ranging from simple walking to extreme hiking. Grace & Steele once again reminds you that air cylinders or air containers of helium, carbon dioxide, hydrogen, helium, phosgene, and chlorine are not recommended sources of air. Only oxygen is a safe source for the human body. Your Name Here may be without a soul, but Your Name Here still possesses a body of substantial molecules and chemical compounds.
Penelope Grace welcomes anyone willing to play the following sports with her: dodge ball, laser tag, hiking, shooting (archery and firearms), running, swimming, diving, hunting, and surfing the Internet.
Clause 5.
The other party, Your Name Here, is allowed to complete any household chores or hire a maid or a butler for their purposes of cleaning a house. Be aware that Grace & Steele may one day be required to commando Your Name Here's house, apartment, condo, RV, car, motorcycle in their services to the Overlord Lucifer.
Clause 6.
The reproduction system is an interesting part of the human body. Your Name Here is allowed to create any new babies, both girls and boys, as long as the wife, wives, husband, husbands are also followers of Grace & Steele. Children are required to attend the Friday School of Grace & Steele. Like their parents, they are entitled to countless numbers of hours on the Internet.
Sexual intercourse is also covered in this clause. Grace & Steele has many recommendations for your anywhere activity. Your Name Here can not roleplay, dress as a nurse, and participate in light domination, however.
Homosexual sex, threesomes, and roleplay (with the exception of nurse-patient roleplay) are acceptable.
Clause 7.
Angels are everywhere. For Lucifer's time of the year, Grace & Steele suggests Your Name Here to create chaos and madness to prevent angels from winning the battle for Earth. Your Name Here has a choice to fight or not to fight against the angels. They are allowed to have alternative forms of assignments and orders such as recruitment of other human souls and finding demons.
Clause 8.
Your Name Here has the right to exercise and kill any demon not afflicted with Grace & Steele. Grace & Steele recommends Your Name Here to take no mercy on such enemies and demons.
Clause 9.
It is Your Name Here's right to own a hellhound as long as 1) Your Name Here is not human, 2) Your Name Here goes through the proper channels to obtain such a remarkable hellhound of their own choosing. Hellhounds are Your Name Here's responsibilities, and owners are liable to any damages caused by hellhounds, and their hellish puppies, and their grown children.
Hellhounds are not allowed to go after demons allied with Grace & Steele or Grace & Steele themselves.
Clause 10.
Your Name Here has the right to not read the Contract. Grace & Steele would gladly support anyone who decides not to read it.
Section 3.
The mind is a thing of great beauty, created by person or persons unknown. However, minds are dangerous, and free will is even more so. Your Name Here is not allowed to think about the following subjects:
Introduction.
This is a Contract between Grace & Steele and Your Name Here. The most basic agreement is an exchange for your soul. Grace & Steele would provide all forms of humorous entertainment and advice in the written English language, with some exceptions (see Article 2, Section 1). The other party, Your Name Here, is expected to give Grace & Steele their soul and anything else of requirement as long as the request is sent and received within the first thirty days after the signing of this Contract.
Article 1.
This article explains the two main parties involved and the requirements that are expected of them. Overlord Lucifer is also explained and clearly stated in the Contract.
Section 1.
The party, Your Name Here, will seal the agreement with a kiss from Grace & Steele after signing the Contract. After signing and the soul-taking, the party is expected to do one or more of the following choices: 1) subscribe to the blog, Grace & Steele, 2) follow their Bloglovin' page, 3) like their Facebook page, 4) follow their Twitter account, or 5) do all of the above.
Any violation of Contract by either parties involved will result in a fitting corporal punishment in Hell, the home of the demons and fallen angels and our Overlord Lucifer. Options and further details for corporal punishments are explored in Article 7.
Section 2.
Grace & Steele's side of the Contract will be stated fully and correctly in this section. As expected, these two Princesses of Hell are very skilled in any written contracts and agreements. Be sure to read every word of this contract fully and carefully. Or not.
Penelope Grace, Princess of Thrones and Writer/Author of this written Contract, will write articles (varying from the simple "Our Journey So Far" to "Advice For Writers" to "Weekly Muse) as needed for the other party's entertainment. She is responsible for answering questions sent by email to Grace & Steele's question mailbox. Grace & Steele's email is clearly stated in the "About Us" page.
Alex Steele, Princess of Blood (or Blood Princess, an acceptable form of her title), will also write articles ("Our Journey So Far" to "Advice For Writers" to "Weekly Muse") like Penelope Grace, the administer and co-blogger of Grace & Steele. Controlling both the Bloglovin' and Twitter account of Grace & Steele, she is responsible for letting demon followers about our operation (codenamed "Soul Collecting"). She may provide the final sealing of the Contract, the kiss. The sealing of the Contract will be further described in Article 6 (below).
Section 3.
Lucifer, as the real King of Hell and father of all demons, holds all rights towards every contract signed and kissed with Grace & Steele. Any possession gained by Grace & Steele could be rightfully obtained by the Overlord Lucifer with no questions asked from Grace & Steele.
However, due to his status and current location in a certain part of Hell, the Overlord Lucifer may request Grace & Steele's humble assistance in his great and extraordinary rising from Hell. Grace & Steele may not be reachable within the timeframe of October the First of this year, twenty hundred and fourteen years anno domini, to October's Hallow's Eve of the same year, twenty hundred and fourteen years anno domini. They will be out of office at any certain and unpredictable time, and any emergencies of the other party, Your Name Here, may not be solved within seventy-two hours of the emergency emails, emergency snail mails, emergency phone calls, or/and emergency telepathical thoughts to Grace & Steele.
Article 2.
This article expresses the exceptions and miscellaneous subjects of the Contract and explores amendments to the Contract.
Section 1.
As stated above in the Overview section, Grace & Steele is expected to provide humorous entertainment and advice in the written English language with some exception. Exceptions include serious post notifying demons of the latest angel and archangel movements from many demonic and human spies of every age, race, and gender. It is known for Grace & Steele to send out warnings to their demonic following about dangerous angels and wanted people of every type of species, race, gender, age, and power. The other party, Your Name Here, is required to hunt these creatures the Overlord Lucifer deemed dangerous and threatening.
Other exceptions should be noted. For example, it is not required for Grace & Steele to provide humorous entertainment and advice in written English. They are allowed to write in any language they feel comfortable writing in, whether it is Spanish, French, Latin, Mandarin, Korean, or Elvish. In addition, they are not required to provide written words, symbols, or hieroglyphs. Youtube videos, pictures, and music are also forms of humorous entertainment and advice.
Section 2.
It is declared impossible to void the Contract by either parties involved. There will be no exceptions, "party favors," and gifts given to Your Name Here, unless they are already stated in this Contract. Failure, as stated previously, results in corporal punishment after the death of the other party, Your Name Here. Forms of corporal punishment is fully and correctly stated in Article 7.
All favors will be carried out within the first two weeks after sealing of the Contract. Details of the sealing of the Contract are clearly stated in Section 6, Section 3. Rights of Your Name Here is stated in Article 3. Rights of Grace & Steele and the Overlord Lucifer is obviously stated in Article 4.
Section 3.
Amendment of the Contract is possible, though termination of Contract is impossible. To amend a section, subsection, clause, or article of the Contract, either party must send a polite email with clear wording, good grammar, and concise language. If not, then the party with bad grammar, terrible wording, and lengthy wordy language will be sentenced to the Void for an incalculable number of Hell years, determined by the fair and just Overlord Lucifer.
It should be noted that Grace & Steele are unsurpassable demon princesses with great amount of skill and charm. They are said to be irreplaceable by any simple demons. After the deaths of lesser demons of similar power belonging to Grace & Steele, Grace & Steele are declared equal to none but themselves. Few beings are more powerful than the two Princesses of Hell.
If amendment is passed, then both parties must resign the Contract and perform the sealing of the Contract to twelve witnesses. Further details of the sealing of the Contract is stated in Article 6, Section 3.
Subsection A.
The amendment passed must be followed by both parties. However, if any order or action of Your Name Here results in utter and complete failure, then the consequences of that failure will be doubled.
Article 3.
This article declares the rights of Your Name Here. The other party, Grace & Steele, can not take the rights away, unless amendments were passed and failure of some given action or order was resulted.
Section 1.
The section focuses on the soul. After the signing of the Contract, Your Name Here no longer possesses their soul. Therefore, Your Name Here has no rights over their soul. Grace & Steele are free to do whatever to the soul as they see fit. If Your Name Here wishes to be changed into a true-blooded demon, then Your Name Here can send a detailed email explaining their case. As said before, the email address is placed in the "About Us" page of graceandsteele.blogspot.com.
The soul will be taken right in the sealing of the Contract. More details are given in Article 6, and the explanation of the ritual is explained and revealed in glorious details.
Section 2.
The section focuses on the body. The other party's body is required to of what Grace & Steele ordered to do. To see the orders and assignments given to the other party by Grace & Steele, see Article 1, Section 1 for more details.
The other party, Your Name Here, are allowed to do some activities (see Article 3, Section 2, Subsection A), but they are required to hunt for those wanted by Grace & Steele. Some actions such as hunting Grace & Steele and attempting to burn their bones are a clear violation of the Contract. For more information on violations of Contract, please see Article 5.
Subsection A.
This subsection contains the activities and actions allowed by the demon princesses, Penelope Grace and Alex Steele.
Clause 1.
Eating, drinking, and breathing are all rights of Your Name Here. Your Name Here is allowed to take any amount they need from the plentiful supply of Earth. Grace & Steele recommend a good diet of bloody steak and baby shrimps. Also, angel blood has been proven to be an excellent source of protein and good enzymes.
Due to several incidents involving breathing, Grace & Steele reminds Your Name Here that oxygen is still required for the soulless human body to survive and live unless Your Name Here has been turned into a demon or is a demon or of other supernatural creatures. Penelope Grace herself reminds Your Name Here that air cylinders or containers of helium, carbon dioxide, hydrogen, helium, phosgene, and chlorine are not recommended sources for air.
Clause 2.
Friendship is a right of Your Name Here and encouraged by Grace & Steele. Recommending friends to Grace & Steele's blog will not only elevate you in their favor but also recruit souls to Lucifer's battle.
Clause 3.
Your Name Here has a right to Internet, the World Wide Web. Once Your Name Here signed up with us, Grace & Steele support the idea of free Internet for all people and unlimited hours on the Internet without being bothered by 1) mothers, 2) fathers, 3) brothers, 4) sisters, 5) stalkers.
In addition to the above paragraph, Grace & Steele will employ a team of demon hackers to destroy all viruses, worms, spyware, adware, bugs, scareware, ransomware, trojan horses, trolls, and haters.
Clause 4.
Your Name Here is free to play any sports, ranging from simple walking to extreme hiking. Grace & Steele once again reminds you that air cylinders or air containers of helium, carbon dioxide, hydrogen, helium, phosgene, and chlorine are not recommended sources of air. Only oxygen is a safe source for the human body. Your Name Here may be without a soul, but Your Name Here still possesses a body of substantial molecules and chemical compounds.
Penelope Grace welcomes anyone willing to play the following sports with her: dodge ball, laser tag, hiking, shooting (archery and firearms), running, swimming, diving, hunting, and surfing the Internet.
Clause 5.
The other party, Your Name Here, is allowed to complete any household chores or hire a maid or a butler for their purposes of cleaning a house. Be aware that Grace & Steele may one day be required to commando Your Name Here's house, apartment, condo, RV, car, motorcycle in their services to the Overlord Lucifer.
Clause 6.
The reproduction system is an interesting part of the human body. Your Name Here is allowed to create any new babies, both girls and boys, as long as the wife, wives, husband, husbands are also followers of Grace & Steele. Children are required to attend the Friday School of Grace & Steele. Like their parents, they are entitled to countless numbers of hours on the Internet.
Sexual intercourse is also covered in this clause. Grace & Steele has many recommendations for your anywhere activity. Your Name Here can not roleplay, dress as a nurse, and participate in light domination, however.
Homosexual sex, threesomes, and roleplay (with the exception of nurse-patient roleplay) are acceptable.
Clause 7.
Angels are everywhere. For Lucifer's time of the year, Grace & Steele suggests Your Name Here to create chaos and madness to prevent angels from winning the battle for Earth. Your Name Here has a choice to fight or not to fight against the angels. They are allowed to have alternative forms of assignments and orders such as recruitment of other human souls and finding demons.
Clause 8.
Your Name Here has the right to exercise and kill any demon not afflicted with Grace & Steele. Grace & Steele recommends Your Name Here to take no mercy on such enemies and demons.
Clause 9.
It is Your Name Here's right to own a hellhound as long as 1) Your Name Here is not human, 2) Your Name Here goes through the proper channels to obtain such a remarkable hellhound of their own choosing. Hellhounds are Your Name Here's responsibilities, and owners are liable to any damages caused by hellhounds, and their hellish puppies, and their grown children.
Hellhounds are not allowed to go after demons allied with Grace & Steele or Grace & Steele themselves.
Clause 10.
Your Name Here has the right to not read the Contract. Grace & Steele would gladly support anyone who decides not to read it.
Section 3.
The mind is a thing of great beauty, created by person or persons unknown. However, minds are dangerous, and free will is even more so. Your Name Here is not allowed to think about the following subjects:
- Love.
- Joy.
- Happiness.
- Killing Grace & Steele.
- Exorcising Grace & Steele.
- Exorcising and killing Grace & Steele's followers.
- Supporting the angels.
- Supporting good and Heaven.
Section 4.
As a reminder, Grace & Steele says that Your Name Here should always and faithfully support demons and other followers. It is of Your Name Here's rights to know the exact ways to kill an angel and exorcise demons.
Article 4.
This article focuses on the many and glorious rights of Penelope Grace, the Princess of Thrones, and Alex Steele, the Blood Princess. The Overlord Lucifer possesses much more powers and rights that are stated in Article 4, Section 5.
Section 1.
Penelope Grace and Alex Steele, both Princesses of Hell, are allowed and required to post advice and short stories (chapter samplers, prequels, and full length books are not considered short stories) on the demonic blog, Grace & Steele. Such details of posts are artfully described in the "About Us" page at graceandsteele.blogspot.com. Be aware that Your Name Here does not have to be a demon or sell their soul to view the uncensored and wonderful words from Grace & Steele.
However, it is universally acknowledged by all that "selling your soul" and submitting email addresses to Grace & Steele is much more fun than simply reading Grace & Steele for free.
Section 2.
Penelope Grace and Alex Steele have the rights to change the Contract at any given time. They, however, can't void the Contract, but the party does have the right to amend any rules and requirements stated in the Contract.
Section 3.
Grace & Steele has the rights to give orders, assignments, and requests to the other party, Your Name Here, within the first thirty days after signing and sealing of this Contract. The other party, Your Name Here, is required by the Contract to complete all assignments, orders, and requests within the time interval given by Grace & Steele. See Article 7 for a full list of corporal punishments bestowed upon after failure of order, assignment, or request.
Section 4.
Grace & Steele's so-called "human rights" still applies to them, despite being demons not humans. Other demonic rights do apply.
Subsection A.
Grace & Steele have the right to fair trial. They insist that no other demons will possess any juries of twelve peers of Grace & Steele. Please note that Grace & Steele's peers will most likely be powerful supernatural creatures ranging from the demon Belial to the more powerful demon Mammon.
Subsection B.
Grace & Steele have the right against enslavement, though all should note that they work for the Overlord Lucifer out of loyalty than terror. They work long hours without pay, and Penelope Grace herself states that she spent more than five days working on the Contract without a single dime given to her. Alex Steele makes a similar remark on the amount of time she spends on the poster from the implied words and little gestures sent through email to Penelope Grace. Like Penelope Grace, Alex Steele, Blood Princess, works tirelessly to finish the work Lucifer assigned her. Alex Steele and Penelope Grace both work overtime to meet the commands of the Overlord Lucifer.
Penelope Grace and Alex Steele work for the Overlord Lucifer out of pure loyalty rather than terror, anger, or fear as obviously stated above.
Therefore, Grace & Steele have no right to sue the Overlord Lucifer unless their fellow peers of similar powers agree that the Overlord Lucifer unjustly uses Grace & Steele. Grace & Steele agree that Lucifer is the real King of Hell, and he will always be the real King of Hell despite his currently unknown location somewhere in the depths of Hell. Your Name Here should consider that once Lucifer returns to Earth, Your Name Here and Grace & Steele will be rewarded for their devoted services.
All other details of the working hours and job of Grace & Steele are discussed in a separate document of equal length and equal amount of words and respect as the Contract. They are not to be disclosed unless Lucifer allows it to be released and seen to every demon, human, angel, supernatural vampire, and fairies who walks the Earth.
Subsection C.
Like all humans and Your Name Here, Grace & Steele possesses the right to free speech. They are allowed to write, speak, draw, sign, and act out of free speech. They may exercise the right frequently or whenever they wish.
It should be noted that free speech does appear in Grace & Steele, and it can not be taken away from Grace & Steele by any person, thing, or being. It can not disappear. It can not be given. It is there, and it will always be.
However, it should be noted there are restrictions on which subjects they may not speak of. Some subjects are noted in Article 3, Section 3. A full list of subjects and ideas they may not speak of is fully described in the deep and long bargain they made with the Overlord Lucifer. Exceptions are noted in the very same document and bargain.
Clause 1.
Grace & Steele may use humor, wit, or anger whenever posting a work of words and knowledge to the Internet. They may also include that in Youtube videos, Twitter tweets, Facebook posts, emails, or any other forms of online communication.
Clause 2.
Grace & Steele are not allowed to burn flags of Hell unless ordered so by the Overlord Lucifer. It is agreed by all three of them that the punishment for burning flags of Hell was just and fair.
Subsection D.
Grace & Steele have the right to property. They are allowed to own demon slaves, babies, vampire blood, virgins, computers, phones, collars, chains, and whips. They are allowed to own anything a normal human being owns along with the full possession and horde of a Prince of Hell.
Subsection E.
The party, Penelope Grace and Alex Steele, have the right to education. They are permitted to kill any teacher or professor who gives them an unfavorable grade. Furthermore, they also have the right to sentence a long prison time in Hell for that teacher or professor.
They may teach their own courses, whether it is about commonplace torture or home cooking or writing classes, to fledging demons, humans, followers, zombies, or any other supernatural creature of immense power and skill.
Subsection F.
Grace & Steele have further rights to make more bargains and sign more Contracts to future followers, humans, demons, zombies, vampire bats, and/or other supernatural creature of potential value. That right may never be taken anyway from any such person, creature, or being. It is their demonic right.
Subsection G.
Penelope Grace is too polite to harass any followers of Grace & Steele. Alex Steele, the Blood Princess, feels the same way. However, the Overlord Lucifer recommends they should frequently update the blog every hour and remind every demons on Earth and in Hell that he is coming.
Nevertheless, Grace & Steele have the right to harass any fan of Grace & Steele, though they are highly unlikely to do so unless the fan is a demon or any other supernatural creature such as the elephant or the moose.
Subsection H.
Penelope Grace and Alex Steele have the right to make any grammar errors as they please on any blog, Contract, or video. Other forms of entertainment and widespread news are also included.
Subsection I.
Grace & Steele have the right to use their demonic powers of teleportation, telekinesis, summoning, bargaining, superhuman strength, endurance, sight, healing, resurrection, mind control, destruction, smiting, exorcism, possession, time traveling, and other powers. Most of their powers will remain undisclosed.
They may use it on any human, creature, and being as they wish.
Subsection J.
Grace & Steele are not allowed to commit suicide or abandon mission.
Subsection K.
Grace & Steele can strike bargains with any other demon and give their rights to this Contract to another demon of greater or lesser power.
Subsection L.
Grace & Steele have the right to kill any angel, archangel, seraphim, and any other supernatural creature without having to do paperwork. They are permitted to kill the other party, Your Name Here, if they proved to be too troublesome.
The other party, once dead, will be sent straight to hell by a reaper allied with Grace & Steele. Grace & Steele have the right to make sure every step of Your Name Here is comfortable and secured.
Subsection M.
Grace & Steele are allowed to eat the other party, Your Name Here, without being required to do paperwork and inform the Overlord Lucifer.
Subsection N.
Grace & Steele have the right to use any of their demonic powers on the other party, Your Name Here, when the other party misbehaves or fails their order, assignment, or request. They, Grace & Steele, have the right to send the other party, Your Name Here, to Hell for reeducation or any other fitting punishments.
Subsection O.
Grace & Steele have the right to listen to music at any given time. They also have the right to scour the Internet, looking for new and possible customers.
Subsection P.
Grace & Steele have the right to draft books, write books, edit books, and publish them, whether it is self-publishing, publishing on website, traditional publishing.
Subsection Q.
All other unexplained rights of Grace & Steele could be further explored and found in the amendments, the bill of rights, and the contract with the Overlord Lucifer.
Section 5.
The Overlord Lucifer is a great and powerful figure despite being somewhere unknown in Hell. He has a right to every Contract Grace & Steele controls. He may do whatever he wishes to the other party, Your Name Here.
Article 5.
This article explains in full detail of the possible and common violations by either parties. Each party is warned to never break the Contract and to never give into the temptation of breaking it. The Contract is a binding agreement, which does not follow city, county, state, region, country, kingdom, Earth, or lunar laws.
Section 1.
Failure of any assignment, order, or request given to Your Name Here by Grace & Steele will result in corporal punishment, often seen fit by Alex Steele. For a more indepth information on the possible corporal punishments, please turn to Article 7.
Section 2.
Defiance to the Contract or any other action against the Contract will not be tolerated by either party. If either party breaks the Contract and rules stated in this such Contract, then punishment will be doted out by the other party, who is not the promise breaker. All parties involved with this Contract should be warned that defiance is not tolerated by any person or party.
Lucifer, if broken the Contract, is not required to undergo punishment.
Section 3.
Purposely killing themselves, otherwise known as committing suicide, is a violation of the Contract and will not be tolerated. Party will be sent to Hell straight away by a rogue reaper and undergo sentencing immediately after trial.
Section 4.
Sabotaging other demons, supernatural creatures, or human allied with Grace & Steele or Lucifer is a clear violation of the Contract. Like all other violations, it will not be tolerated, and the punishment will obviously be more severe.
Please note that Grace & Steele is serious and warn to all parties involved that violations are not tolerated, as stated for perhaps the tenth time.
Section 5.
There are few opportunities for Grace & Steele to violate the Contract. The following subsections will describe the scenarios possible.
Subsection A.
It is considered possible by all that Grace & Steele may or may not fail in their duties to provide entertainment. For example, they may fail to post advice or orders on their blog. Lucifer will undeniably give them a good whipping on the rear end of their human meatsuits and vessels, if he was on earth. The punishments listed in Article 7 do not apply to them in this situation.
Subsection B.
Abandoning post is another violation of the Contract. As higher tier demons of Hell, they are said to be unlikely to flee from a few angels or other supernatural creatures.
If they do flee, otherwise known as abandoning post, then the Overlord Lucifer shall punish them personally to his satisfaction. Their followers will also join the large demonhunt for them.
Subsection C.
Grace & Steele fails in their duty if they are not successful in their campaign against any false leader, angel, archangel, or any other supernatural creature.
Subsection D.
Any other violations committed by Penelope Grace and/or Alex Steele will be discussed privately in an abandoned church with the Overlord Lucifer. They are required to respond to the real King of Hell's call.
Article 6.
This article defines the complete and full procedure of the signing and sealing of the Contract. Requirements for both parties are included.
Section 1.
The requirements for both parties are discussed in this section.
Subsection A.
The human or supernatural creature or demon, Your Name here, has to be of at least thirteen years of age. Any members or parties younger must have parental supervision without doubt.
The other party, Your Name Here, must possess a healthy mind, which is able to form conclusions and decisions. The mind must be of good health and sanity, as stated in the previous sentence.
However, Grace & Steele kindly note that once they get through the other party, Your Name Here, they won't be anywhere close to sanity.
Subsection B.
Grace & Steele must be in good health to sign the Contract and perform the final sealing of the Contract. They can't be connected to any third party with the exception of the Overlord Lucifer.
Section 2.
This section discusses the preferences of Grace & Steele.
Subsection A.
Penelope Grace, the hellish Princess of Thrones, has a penchant for any victims of these type: blue eyes, black hair, brown hair, young male (that meet the requirements), females (that meet the requirements) of all ages (anyone under thirteen must have parental supervision and parental agreement), green eyes, almond-shaped eyes, long nose, Roman nose, thin lips, fat lips, and other physical features or traits.
Be warned that Penelope Grace does not care what her victim looks like (to a certain point, though physical attractiveness is certainly a small requirement for top level demons and followers), as long as the victim also possesses two legs, at least one hand, at least two somewhat functional eyes, at least one arm, at least one good kidney, a good brain, strong heart, and A- blood, AB- blood, or O+ blood.
Anyone missing any of those following traits could request a conference with Penelope Grace for her to reevaluate her decision.
Subsection B.
Alex Steele, the Blood Princess of Hell, has a fondness for guys with good looking eyes and strong jaws. Since, it is Penelope Grace writing this Contract, she has little clue to what is Alex Steele's type.
Of course, Penelope Grace could easily throw in random physical traits, such as double chins and cross-eyed eye states, but she choose to leave a paragraph of lines in case of Alex Steele wanting to put an input.
Alex Steele likes: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.
Obviously, she likes a lot of things.
Update:
Alex Steele has said she likes tall, dark, handsome guys
Also, Alex Steele likes attractive people, too, but people/would be victims with good personalities,humor, sarcasm, possibly a tad insanity (deranged) will do excellently under her care. She prefers people who are quite easy to manipulate and bend to her will.
Plus, she wouldn't mind people with buck teeth.
Section 3.
This section explains and goes through the procedures of the signing and sealing of this Contract. In chronological order, the subsections will describe the full and glorious way Alex Steele and/or Penelope Grace gets your soul. And email addresses.
Subsection A.
The other party, Your Name Here, is required to fast for six hours and 6 minutes and 6 seconds before summoning Grace & Steele on their laptops, computers, phones, or any other devices. A shower would be recommended.
Note: Grace & Steele do not like stinky, smelly feet.
Subsection B.
Your Name Here, during the 6 hours and 6 minutes and 6 seconds of fasting, should pray one last time to the angels before joining the demons forever and beyond. Hell is glorious, indeed, but everyone has to say goodbye to the light before they blink out forever.
Subsection C.
During fasting and after doing Subsection B of Section 3 of Article 6, Your Name Here says the alphabet backwards and forwards for 6 minutes before stopping completely. It is suggested by Grace & Steele to forget about the alphabet and skip to the next step of the ritual to Hell.
Subsection D.
The other party, Your Name Here, then should go out to the supermarket to buy cheap whiskey. Fine whiskey would be much appreciated, but underage drinking is illegal in some states and countries.
The other party will set the whiskey aside in a safe place for later purposes of the ritual to summon Grace & Steele.
Subsection E.
After doing all the previous subsections of Article 6, Section 3, the other party, Your Name Here, should play laser tag for half of an hour. Nothing less, nothing more. Laser tag will prepare you for a role and life of a soulless human being.
Demons and other supernatural creatures are required to completed this step. Be warned: Grace & Steele is watching the other party, Your Name Here, for any small mistakes, missteps, or traitorous actions.
Subsection F.
The other party shall take a shower. Laser tag is a sweaty game, and therefore, showers must be taken unless the other party, Your Name Here, is a supernatural creature.
Subsection G.
Thievery. First, the other party, Your Name Here, needs to steal a six-pack of random beer. Any brand would be sufficient.
The person the other party steals it from is important. If the other party has parents who store beer in the fridge, they are allowed to take it and proceed to the next subsection. If parents do not drink, live on the other side of the world, or are deceased, then the other party may steal beer from the fridge of their guardian, aunts, uncles, or any other distant family.
If the other party possesses none of those, then they may steal a six-pack of beer from their friend.
If they possess not a single friend, then they may steal if from the neighbors. After all, that is not loving your neighbor.
If you have not a single neighbor, then you may simply buy a six-pack of beer from the convenience store or a supermarket.
Subsection H.
Drinking game! Open a random book (Grace & Steele hates Twilight, so the other party should not get into those). Every time Your Name Here see the word, "the." the other party drinks.
However, if the other party wants to die, the other party should feel free to open Twilight and drink at every time Your Name Here see 1) bad grammar, 2) a description of Edward Cullen's so-called "perfect appearance," 3) a mention of how plain Bella Swan is, or 4) just drink and screw reading the book.
Subsection I.
After playing the drinking game, the other party will go check into a hotel (at least three stars) and sleep the alcohol off. For around or about ten minutes.
Subsection J.
After sleeping the alcohol off, turn on the hotel's television. There is a likely chance for Supernatural to be on. If it isn't on, it is because it is not 1) Tuesdays, 2) nighttime, 3) reruns night, or 4) all of the above.
The other party will drunkenly criticize the tv show for about two minutes before turning it off. If the other party happens to be watching Supernatural, they may keep on watching for the remainder of the program and then continue on with the subsections and the bucket list on this Contract.
If Supernatural isn't on, the other party, Your Name Here, may stop watching after the time interval given and continue on to the next subsection and activity on the long but exciting (and drunk) bucket list.
Subsection K.
The other party should go to a crowded place of their own choice and stand on top of a table. If the other party is a man or identifies as man, he should pull down his pants and shout these words at the crowd: Pudding.
The man (or male) will then shake his hips and pull his pants up. He should be quick or else his gentials will be posted across the Internet. Disappearing into the crowd will be helpful to avoid the security mall cops and the police officers sent on behalf of the screaming women in the crowd.
If the other party is a female, then the other party may twerk on top of the table. Like their male counterparts, they should run fast before the mall cops and police officers catch them.
If the other party gets caught, then they will be forfeiting their chance to become a demon like Grace & Steele and their followers.
Subsection L.
After the twerking/Pudding incident, the other party will go to the nearest tourist attraction site. They will attempt to photobomb as many victims as possible for the next five minutes.
Subsection M.
The other party shall now go to a dating site and sign up, pretending to be a seventy-three year old veteran of World War I and the American Civil War. The other party, Your Name Here, will attempt to go after at least three blonds, five redheads, and three brunettes while quoting J.K. Rowling.
The other party may stop searching for their true love once someone request them to go on a date or after twenty minutes passes by.
Subsection N.
The other party, Your Name Here, will then get off the computer and go buy a large bucket of ice cream of multiple flavors. They should also buy chocolate chip cookies, in their attempt to join the dark side.
Subsection O.
Your Name Here will visit their local library again. Grace & Steele suggest visiting a different library than the previous library because of the drinking game (assuming Your Name Here went to the library).
This time, they will borrow a copy of demon summoning.
If the library possesses not a single copy, then the other party may simply leave the library and continue onto the next subsection.
Subsection P.
The bucket of ice cream is proven essential to the preparation to summon Grace & Steele. The other party will eat three spoonfuls of ice cream and then place it back into the freezer for a later time of the ritual.
Subsection Q.
For the rest of the time remaining on the timer or clock, the other party will sleep the time off and then move onto the next subsection of this section.
Subsection R.
After the delightful time of napping, the other party will now boot up the computer or laptop or device they use to get on the web. The computer has to be connected to the Internet, which is one of the many targets of Grace & Steele in their plan for reconstruction after the war for world domination.
The other party will need to keep these items nearby their computer before they go onto Grace & Steele's webpage: the bucket of ice cream, the demon summoning book, the bottle of whiskey, and table salt (or any other kinds of salt).
Once on the website of Grace & Steele (url: graceandsteele.blogspot.com), the other party, Your Name Here, will open the demon summoning book (if possess one) and chant the following words: I summon Penelope Grace, Princess of Thrones, and Alex Steele, the Hellish Blood Princess. I seek to give up my soul for eternity to help the Overlord Lucifer and become a dem,on.
Chant words and phrases three times.
Subsection S.
After chanting, enter your email address and join the demons. Follow Grace & Steele on Bloglovin', Twitter (any of their accounts), Google Plus, Facebook Page, Google Friend Connect, or all of them.
Make sure you subscribed fully and completely!
This is an essential part of the ritual to sign the Contract.
Subsection T.
After signing up to join the minions, the other party will draw David's Star upside down. They will chant either Penelope Grace's name or Alex Steele's name. Be sure to include their full titles or else the ritual wouldn't' work. Do it while drawing the inverted David's Star.
Subsection U.
If done correctly, either Penelope Grace or Alex Steele will appear. Penelope Grace occasionally appears as a black and white cat while Alex Grace makes a dramatic entrance as a fire-breathing dragon. Be warned that her flames and her bite are very lethal and real.
They will help the other party, Your Name Here, finish the signing and sealing of the very long and extensive Contract.
Subsection V.
Depending on the demoness attending (Penelope Grace or Alex Steele), the other party will do either of the two clauses below. If a representative comes, the other party may have to read the third clause of this subsection.
Clause 1.
Penelope Grace has a few favorite ways of signing the Contract. First, she produces the very long paper version of this Contract and requests the other party, Your Name Here, to sign the very end of it.
Then Penelope Grace orders the other party to first sing the alphabet backwards and forwards. If she is in a bad mood, the other party should know that Penelope Grace would also want a singing of the country's national anthem along with a deep-throat singing version of Taylor Swift's "Shake it off."
If still not impressed, the Princess of Thrones will then asked the other party to sing another song (perhaps "Girl On Fire" by Alicia Keys or "I Have Nothing" by Whitney Houston) in A flat. "Singing In the Rain" is another option, naturally.
If the other party fails to meet her liking, then the other party will sing all of Phillip Phillips' songs in high soprano, however terrible their singing voices are. It shall be known that Penelope Grace was once in a choir before she became a demoness and Princess of Thrones.
After all the singing, Penelope Grace will require the other party, Your Name Here, to eat some food for about twenty minutes. Then she will force the other party to drink saltwater to make sure they possess not a single particle from a demon.
Quotes from a popular book, The Fault In Our Stars, may be recited by the other party, Your Name Here.
Before the sealing of the Contract, Penelope Grace will give an interview containing all the following questions. The other party should be warned that there may or may not be other questions added at the end of the interview.
Section 1.
Penelope Grace and Alex Steele, both Princesses of Hell, are allowed and required to post advice and short stories (chapter samplers, prequels, and full length books are not considered short stories) on the demonic blog, Grace & Steele. Such details of posts are artfully described in the "About Us" page at graceandsteele.blogspot.com. Be aware that Your Name Here does not have to be a demon or sell their soul to view the uncensored and wonderful words from Grace & Steele.
However, it is universally acknowledged by all that "selling your soul" and submitting email addresses to Grace & Steele is much more fun than simply reading Grace & Steele for free.
Section 2.
Penelope Grace and Alex Steele have the rights to change the Contract at any given time. They, however, can't void the Contract, but the party does have the right to amend any rules and requirements stated in the Contract.
Section 3.
Grace & Steele has the rights to give orders, assignments, and requests to the other party, Your Name Here, within the first thirty days after signing and sealing of this Contract. The other party, Your Name Here, is required by the Contract to complete all assignments, orders, and requests within the time interval given by Grace & Steele. See Article 7 for a full list of corporal punishments bestowed upon after failure of order, assignment, or request.
Section 4.
Grace & Steele's so-called "human rights" still applies to them, despite being demons not humans. Other demonic rights do apply.
Subsection A.
Grace & Steele have the right to fair trial. They insist that no other demons will possess any juries of twelve peers of Grace & Steele. Please note that Grace & Steele's peers will most likely be powerful supernatural creatures ranging from the demon Belial to the more powerful demon Mammon.
Subsection B.
Grace & Steele have the right against enslavement, though all should note that they work for the Overlord Lucifer out of loyalty than terror. They work long hours without pay, and Penelope Grace herself states that she spent more than five days working on the Contract without a single dime given to her. Alex Steele makes a similar remark on the amount of time she spends on the poster from the implied words and little gestures sent through email to Penelope Grace. Like Penelope Grace, Alex Steele, Blood Princess, works tirelessly to finish the work Lucifer assigned her. Alex Steele and Penelope Grace both work overtime to meet the commands of the Overlord Lucifer.
Penelope Grace and Alex Steele work for the Overlord Lucifer out of pure loyalty rather than terror, anger, or fear as obviously stated above.
Therefore, Grace & Steele have no right to sue the Overlord Lucifer unless their fellow peers of similar powers agree that the Overlord Lucifer unjustly uses Grace & Steele. Grace & Steele agree that Lucifer is the real King of Hell, and he will always be the real King of Hell despite his currently unknown location somewhere in the depths of Hell. Your Name Here should consider that once Lucifer returns to Earth, Your Name Here and Grace & Steele will be rewarded for their devoted services.
All other details of the working hours and job of Grace & Steele are discussed in a separate document of equal length and equal amount of words and respect as the Contract. They are not to be disclosed unless Lucifer allows it to be released and seen to every demon, human, angel, supernatural vampire, and fairies who walks the Earth.
Subsection C.
Like all humans and Your Name Here, Grace & Steele possesses the right to free speech. They are allowed to write, speak, draw, sign, and act out of free speech. They may exercise the right frequently or whenever they wish.
It should be noted that free speech does appear in Grace & Steele, and it can not be taken away from Grace & Steele by any person, thing, or being. It can not disappear. It can not be given. It is there, and it will always be.
However, it should be noted there are restrictions on which subjects they may not speak of. Some subjects are noted in Article 3, Section 3. A full list of subjects and ideas they may not speak of is fully described in the deep and long bargain they made with the Overlord Lucifer. Exceptions are noted in the very same document and bargain.
Clause 1.
Grace & Steele may use humor, wit, or anger whenever posting a work of words and knowledge to the Internet. They may also include that in Youtube videos, Twitter tweets, Facebook posts, emails, or any other forms of online communication.
Clause 2.
Grace & Steele are not allowed to burn flags of Hell unless ordered so by the Overlord Lucifer. It is agreed by all three of them that the punishment for burning flags of Hell was just and fair.
Subsection D.
Grace & Steele have the right to property. They are allowed to own demon slaves, babies, vampire blood, virgins, computers, phones, collars, chains, and whips. They are allowed to own anything a normal human being owns along with the full possession and horde of a Prince of Hell.
Subsection E.
The party, Penelope Grace and Alex Steele, have the right to education. They are permitted to kill any teacher or professor who gives them an unfavorable grade. Furthermore, they also have the right to sentence a long prison time in Hell for that teacher or professor.
They may teach their own courses, whether it is about commonplace torture or home cooking or writing classes, to fledging demons, humans, followers, zombies, or any other supernatural creature of immense power and skill.
Subsection F.
Grace & Steele have further rights to make more bargains and sign more Contracts to future followers, humans, demons, zombies, vampire bats, and/or other supernatural creature of potential value. That right may never be taken anyway from any such person, creature, or being. It is their demonic right.
Subsection G.
Penelope Grace is too polite to harass any followers of Grace & Steele. Alex Steele, the Blood Princess, feels the same way. However, the Overlord Lucifer recommends they should frequently update the blog every hour and remind every demons on Earth and in Hell that he is coming.
Nevertheless, Grace & Steele have the right to harass any fan of Grace & Steele, though they are highly unlikely to do so unless the fan is a demon or any other supernatural creature such as the elephant or the moose.
Subsection H.
Penelope Grace and Alex Steele have the right to make any grammar errors as they please on any blog, Contract, or video. Other forms of entertainment and widespread news are also included.
Subsection I.
Grace & Steele have the right to use their demonic powers of teleportation, telekinesis, summoning, bargaining, superhuman strength, endurance, sight, healing, resurrection, mind control, destruction, smiting, exorcism, possession, time traveling, and other powers. Most of their powers will remain undisclosed.
They may use it on any human, creature, and being as they wish.
Subsection J.
Grace & Steele are not allowed to commit suicide or abandon mission.
Subsection K.
Grace & Steele can strike bargains with any other demon and give their rights to this Contract to another demon of greater or lesser power.
Subsection L.
Grace & Steele have the right to kill any angel, archangel, seraphim, and any other supernatural creature without having to do paperwork. They are permitted to kill the other party, Your Name Here, if they proved to be too troublesome.
The other party, once dead, will be sent straight to hell by a reaper allied with Grace & Steele. Grace & Steele have the right to make sure every step of Your Name Here is comfortable and secured.
Subsection M.
Grace & Steele are allowed to eat the other party, Your Name Here, without being required to do paperwork and inform the Overlord Lucifer.
Subsection N.
Grace & Steele have the right to use any of their demonic powers on the other party, Your Name Here, when the other party misbehaves or fails their order, assignment, or request. They, Grace & Steele, have the right to send the other party, Your Name Here, to Hell for reeducation or any other fitting punishments.
Subsection O.
Grace & Steele have the right to listen to music at any given time. They also have the right to scour the Internet, looking for new and possible customers.
Subsection P.
Grace & Steele have the right to draft books, write books, edit books, and publish them, whether it is self-publishing, publishing on website, traditional publishing.
Subsection Q.
All other unexplained rights of Grace & Steele could be further explored and found in the amendments, the bill of rights, and the contract with the Overlord Lucifer.
Section 5.
The Overlord Lucifer is a great and powerful figure despite being somewhere unknown in Hell. He has a right to every Contract Grace & Steele controls. He may do whatever he wishes to the other party, Your Name Here.
Article 5.
This article explains in full detail of the possible and common violations by either parties. Each party is warned to never break the Contract and to never give into the temptation of breaking it. The Contract is a binding agreement, which does not follow city, county, state, region, country, kingdom, Earth, or lunar laws.
Section 1.
Failure of any assignment, order, or request given to Your Name Here by Grace & Steele will result in corporal punishment, often seen fit by Alex Steele. For a more indepth information on the possible corporal punishments, please turn to Article 7.
Section 2.
Defiance to the Contract or any other action against the Contract will not be tolerated by either party. If either party breaks the Contract and rules stated in this such Contract, then punishment will be doted out by the other party, who is not the promise breaker. All parties involved with this Contract should be warned that defiance is not tolerated by any person or party.
Lucifer, if broken the Contract, is not required to undergo punishment.
Section 3.
Purposely killing themselves, otherwise known as committing suicide, is a violation of the Contract and will not be tolerated. Party will be sent to Hell straight away by a rogue reaper and undergo sentencing immediately after trial.
Section 4.
Sabotaging other demons, supernatural creatures, or human allied with Grace & Steele or Lucifer is a clear violation of the Contract. Like all other violations, it will not be tolerated, and the punishment will obviously be more severe.
Please note that Grace & Steele is serious and warn to all parties involved that violations are not tolerated, as stated for perhaps the tenth time.
Section 5.
There are few opportunities for Grace & Steele to violate the Contract. The following subsections will describe the scenarios possible.
Subsection A.
It is considered possible by all that Grace & Steele may or may not fail in their duties to provide entertainment. For example, they may fail to post advice or orders on their blog. Lucifer will undeniably give them a good whipping on the rear end of their human meatsuits and vessels, if he was on earth. The punishments listed in Article 7 do not apply to them in this situation.
Subsection B.
Abandoning post is another violation of the Contract. As higher tier demons of Hell, they are said to be unlikely to flee from a few angels or other supernatural creatures.
If they do flee, otherwise known as abandoning post, then the Overlord Lucifer shall punish them personally to his satisfaction. Their followers will also join the large demonhunt for them.
Subsection C.
Grace & Steele fails in their duty if they are not successful in their campaign against any false leader, angel, archangel, or any other supernatural creature.
Subsection D.
Any other violations committed by Penelope Grace and/or Alex Steele will be discussed privately in an abandoned church with the Overlord Lucifer. They are required to respond to the real King of Hell's call.
Article 6.
This article defines the complete and full procedure of the signing and sealing of the Contract. Requirements for both parties are included.
Section 1.
The requirements for both parties are discussed in this section.
Subsection A.
The human or supernatural creature or demon, Your Name here, has to be of at least thirteen years of age. Any members or parties younger must have parental supervision without doubt.
The other party, Your Name Here, must possess a healthy mind, which is able to form conclusions and decisions. The mind must be of good health and sanity, as stated in the previous sentence.
However, Grace & Steele kindly note that once they get through the other party, Your Name Here, they won't be anywhere close to sanity.
Subsection B.
Grace & Steele must be in good health to sign the Contract and perform the final sealing of the Contract. They can't be connected to any third party with the exception of the Overlord Lucifer.
Section 2.
This section discusses the preferences of Grace & Steele.
Subsection A.
Penelope Grace, the hellish Princess of Thrones, has a penchant for any victims of these type: blue eyes, black hair, brown hair, young male (that meet the requirements), females (that meet the requirements) of all ages (anyone under thirteen must have parental supervision and parental agreement), green eyes, almond-shaped eyes, long nose, Roman nose, thin lips, fat lips, and other physical features or traits.
Be warned that Penelope Grace does not care what her victim looks like (to a certain point, though physical attractiveness is certainly a small requirement for top level demons and followers), as long as the victim also possesses two legs, at least one hand, at least two somewhat functional eyes, at least one arm, at least one good kidney, a good brain, strong heart, and A- blood, AB- blood, or O+ blood.
Anyone missing any of those following traits could request a conference with Penelope Grace for her to reevaluate her decision.
Subsection B.
Alex Steele, the Blood Princess of Hell, has a fondness for guys with good looking eyes and strong jaws. Since, it is Penelope Grace writing this Contract, she has little clue to what is Alex Steele's type.
Of course, Penelope Grace could easily throw in random physical traits, such as double chins and cross-eyed eye states, but she choose to leave a paragraph of lines in case of Alex Steele wanting to put an input.
Alex Steele likes: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.
Obviously, she likes a lot of things.
Update:
Alex Steele has said she likes tall, dark, handsome guys
Also, Alex Steele likes attractive people, too, but people/would be victims with good personalities,humor, sarcasm, possibly a tad insanity (deranged) will do excellently under her care. She prefers people who are quite easy to manipulate and bend to her will.
Plus, she wouldn't mind people with buck teeth.
Section 3.
This section explains and goes through the procedures of the signing and sealing of this Contract. In chronological order, the subsections will describe the full and glorious way Alex Steele and/or Penelope Grace gets your soul. And email addresses.
Subsection A.
The other party, Your Name Here, is required to fast for six hours and 6 minutes and 6 seconds before summoning Grace & Steele on their laptops, computers, phones, or any other devices. A shower would be recommended.
Note: Grace & Steele do not like stinky, smelly feet.
Subsection B.
Your Name Here, during the 6 hours and 6 minutes and 6 seconds of fasting, should pray one last time to the angels before joining the demons forever and beyond. Hell is glorious, indeed, but everyone has to say goodbye to the light before they blink out forever.
Subsection C.
During fasting and after doing Subsection B of Section 3 of Article 6, Your Name Here says the alphabet backwards and forwards for 6 minutes before stopping completely. It is suggested by Grace & Steele to forget about the alphabet and skip to the next step of the ritual to Hell.
Subsection D.
The other party, Your Name Here, then should go out to the supermarket to buy cheap whiskey. Fine whiskey would be much appreciated, but underage drinking is illegal in some states and countries.
The other party will set the whiskey aside in a safe place for later purposes of the ritual to summon Grace & Steele.
Subsection E.
After doing all the previous subsections of Article 6, Section 3, the other party, Your Name Here, should play laser tag for half of an hour. Nothing less, nothing more. Laser tag will prepare you for a role and life of a soulless human being.
Demons and other supernatural creatures are required to completed this step. Be warned: Grace & Steele is watching the other party, Your Name Here, for any small mistakes, missteps, or traitorous actions.
Subsection F.
The other party shall take a shower. Laser tag is a sweaty game, and therefore, showers must be taken unless the other party, Your Name Here, is a supernatural creature.
Subsection G.
Thievery. First, the other party, Your Name Here, needs to steal a six-pack of random beer. Any brand would be sufficient.
The person the other party steals it from is important. If the other party has parents who store beer in the fridge, they are allowed to take it and proceed to the next subsection. If parents do not drink, live on the other side of the world, or are deceased, then the other party may steal beer from the fridge of their guardian, aunts, uncles, or any other distant family.
If the other party possesses none of those, then they may steal a six-pack of beer from their friend.
If they possess not a single friend, then they may steal if from the neighbors. After all, that is not loving your neighbor.
If you have not a single neighbor, then you may simply buy a six-pack of beer from the convenience store or a supermarket.
Subsection H.
Drinking game! Open a random book (Grace & Steele hates Twilight, so the other party should not get into those). Every time Your Name Here see the word, "the." the other party drinks.
However, if the other party wants to die, the other party should feel free to open Twilight and drink at every time Your Name Here see 1) bad grammar, 2) a description of Edward Cullen's so-called "perfect appearance," 3) a mention of how plain Bella Swan is, or 4) just drink and screw reading the book.
Subsection I.
After playing the drinking game, the other party will go check into a hotel (at least three stars) and sleep the alcohol off. For around or about ten minutes.
Subsection J.
After sleeping the alcohol off, turn on the hotel's television. There is a likely chance for Supernatural to be on. If it isn't on, it is because it is not 1) Tuesdays, 2) nighttime, 3) reruns night, or 4) all of the above.
The other party will drunkenly criticize the tv show for about two minutes before turning it off. If the other party happens to be watching Supernatural, they may keep on watching for the remainder of the program and then continue on with the subsections and the bucket list on this Contract.
If Supernatural isn't on, the other party, Your Name Here, may stop watching after the time interval given and continue on to the next subsection and activity on the long but exciting (and drunk) bucket list.
Subsection K.
The other party should go to a crowded place of their own choice and stand on top of a table. If the other party is a man or identifies as man, he should pull down his pants and shout these words at the crowd: Pudding.
The man (or male) will then shake his hips and pull his pants up. He should be quick or else his gentials will be posted across the Internet. Disappearing into the crowd will be helpful to avoid the security mall cops and the police officers sent on behalf of the screaming women in the crowd.
If the other party is a female, then the other party may twerk on top of the table. Like their male counterparts, they should run fast before the mall cops and police officers catch them.
If the other party gets caught, then they will be forfeiting their chance to become a demon like Grace & Steele and their followers.
Subsection L.
After the twerking/Pudding incident, the other party will go to the nearest tourist attraction site. They will attempt to photobomb as many victims as possible for the next five minutes.
Subsection M.
The other party shall now go to a dating site and sign up, pretending to be a seventy-three year old veteran of World War I and the American Civil War. The other party, Your Name Here, will attempt to go after at least three blonds, five redheads, and three brunettes while quoting J.K. Rowling.
The other party may stop searching for their true love once someone request them to go on a date or after twenty minutes passes by.
Subsection N.
The other party, Your Name Here, will then get off the computer and go buy a large bucket of ice cream of multiple flavors. They should also buy chocolate chip cookies, in their attempt to join the dark side.
Subsection O.
Your Name Here will visit their local library again. Grace & Steele suggest visiting a different library than the previous library because of the drinking game (assuming Your Name Here went to the library).
This time, they will borrow a copy of demon summoning.
If the library possesses not a single copy, then the other party may simply leave the library and continue onto the next subsection.
Subsection P.
The bucket of ice cream is proven essential to the preparation to summon Grace & Steele. The other party will eat three spoonfuls of ice cream and then place it back into the freezer for a later time of the ritual.
Subsection Q.
For the rest of the time remaining on the timer or clock, the other party will sleep the time off and then move onto the next subsection of this section.
Subsection R.
After the delightful time of napping, the other party will now boot up the computer or laptop or device they use to get on the web. The computer has to be connected to the Internet, which is one of the many targets of Grace & Steele in their plan for reconstruction after the war for world domination.
The other party will need to keep these items nearby their computer before they go onto Grace & Steele's webpage: the bucket of ice cream, the demon summoning book, the bottle of whiskey, and table salt (or any other kinds of salt).
Once on the website of Grace & Steele (url: graceandsteele.blogspot.com), the other party, Your Name Here, will open the demon summoning book (if possess one) and chant the following words: I summon Penelope Grace, Princess of Thrones, and Alex Steele, the Hellish Blood Princess. I seek to give up my soul for eternity to help the Overlord Lucifer and become a dem,on.
Chant words and phrases three times.
Subsection S.
After chanting, enter your email address and join the demons. Follow Grace & Steele on Bloglovin', Twitter (any of their accounts), Google Plus, Facebook Page, Google Friend Connect, or all of them.
Make sure you subscribed fully and completely!
This is an essential part of the ritual to sign the Contract.
Subsection T.
After signing up to join the minions, the other party will draw David's Star upside down. They will chant either Penelope Grace's name or Alex Steele's name. Be sure to include their full titles or else the ritual wouldn't' work. Do it while drawing the inverted David's Star.
Subsection U.
If done correctly, either Penelope Grace or Alex Steele will appear. Penelope Grace occasionally appears as a black and white cat while Alex Grace makes a dramatic entrance as a fire-breathing dragon. Be warned that her flames and her bite are very lethal and real.
They will help the other party, Your Name Here, finish the signing and sealing of the very long and extensive Contract.
Subsection V.
Depending on the demoness attending (Penelope Grace or Alex Steele), the other party will do either of the two clauses below. If a representative comes, the other party may have to read the third clause of this subsection.
Clause 1.
Penelope Grace has a few favorite ways of signing the Contract. First, she produces the very long paper version of this Contract and requests the other party, Your Name Here, to sign the very end of it.
Then Penelope Grace orders the other party to first sing the alphabet backwards and forwards. If she is in a bad mood, the other party should know that Penelope Grace would also want a singing of the country's national anthem along with a deep-throat singing version of Taylor Swift's "Shake it off."
If still not impressed, the Princess of Thrones will then asked the other party to sing another song (perhaps "Girl On Fire" by Alicia Keys or "I Have Nothing" by Whitney Houston) in A flat. "Singing In the Rain" is another option, naturally.
If the other party fails to meet her liking, then the other party will sing all of Phillip Phillips' songs in high soprano, however terrible their singing voices are. It shall be known that Penelope Grace was once in a choir before she became a demoness and Princess of Thrones.
After all the singing, Penelope Grace will require the other party, Your Name Here, to eat some food for about twenty minutes. Then she will force the other party to drink saltwater to make sure they possess not a single particle from a demon.
Quotes from a popular book, The Fault In Our Stars, may be recited by the other party, Your Name Here.
Before the sealing of the Contract, Penelope Grace will give an interview containing all the following questions. The other party should be warned that there may or may not be other questions added at the end of the interview.
- Are you a virgin?
- Do you have a habit of talking to angels or archangels?
- Do you possess a computer?
- Are you obedient?
- Do you have any martial art or combat skills?
- How old are you?
- Are you good at math?
- If you meet a dimwitted person on the Internet, would you hunt him down and proceed to run over him with your car?
- Do you like eating pills?
- Do you possess any health issues?
- Are you resistant against demons?
- Do you think my meatsuit is pretty?
- Do you like to read?
- Have you heard of Sam Winchester? Or any other of the characters in the tv show, Supernatural?
- Do you have any family members you can recruit to our cause?
- How much do you like music?
- Are you a serial killer? By the definition of a serial killer, you had killed at least three people over a time interval.
- Have you killed anything? Not including insets.
- Do you think Lucifer should rise again?
- Do you believe in Lucifer?
- How good are you with computers?
- If there were two blond girls, three burette girls, and two guys (including the Angel of the Lord, Castiel) in a orgy, would you join in?
- How good are you at quotes?
- Do you like the short story I sent out a bit while ago?
- How much do you spend on books?
- Do you like to read?
- Do you hate Bella Swan or Edward Cullen?
- Would you clean my room and my house for free?
- How loyal will you be to me?
- What colors are the LGBT flag?
- Do you like Alex Steele?
- Do you like what we create (Grace & Steele blog)?
- How much is your hourly salary?
- Are you good at art?
- Do you run a blog?
- If you wake up as the opposite sex, what would be the first thing you do?
- What superpower would you possess?
Finally, Penelope Grace would allow the other party go on (assuming they pass). She would have them sit somewhere stable and then kiss them on the lips, completing the final transaction of the Contract. The other party signs the Contract, Grace & Steele takes their soul.
Clause 2.
Like Penelope Grace, Alex Steele also has a specific way of signing and sealing the Contract. She may appear by fire or ice, depending on the other party's current location and time.
Right now, Alex Steele's methods for signing remains unknown. If Alex Steele would like to insert her ways and methods, she may in the lines below. However, Penelope Grace may update this clause at the end of the clause.
Her ways:
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.
Clause 3.
Assistants or representatives of Grace & Steele may do the signing and sealing of the Contract for Grace & Steele. The other party should know that each assistant have different methods and rituals to signing and sealing the Contract.
However, every method is required to have the signing of the Contract and the kiss of the sealing of the Contract.
This kiss is the transaction and final sealing of the Contract. The soul is sucked away from the containment (body) of the other party, Your Name Here. The assistants or representatives will hold the soul until they reach Grace & Steele. They will unload the soul into special containments for further processing.
Most of the processing is a secret, but it requires the use of the stomach of a goat, the hair of a siren, and the wing of the angel.
Subsection W.
Once the signing and sealing of the Contract is over, Grace & Steele or the representatives will give the other party some flyers and a start-up kit. Some emails of fellow demons and minions may be given to the recently new soulless being.
Subsection X.
The other party may be sent on a mission, request, assignment, or order right after completion of the signing and sealing of the Contract. The other party is required to obey orders no matter how difficult or impossible the order is.
Subsection Y.
Grace & Steele or any representatives will then take their leave. They are not required to give copies of their Contract unless otherwise requested by the other party.
Subsection Z.
The other party will then drink whiskey and sleep for the next three hours before starting their new mission.
Subsection 1A.
Upon awakening, the other party, Your Name Here, will be assigned a supervisor and doing demonic jobs. They are required to follow the Contract or else they will face punishment. A full list of punishment is contained in Article 7.
Section 4.
An alternate method to the entire Article 6, Section 3 is simply entering Your Name Here's email into the email box of graceandsteele.blogspot.com or following Grace & Steele on Twitter.
Article 7.
This article contains the full and possible list of corporal punishments. Only the other party, Your Name Here, can be the punished.
Be warned that demons do not do sexual assault or violation of their own accord. Grace & Steele do not believe in that kind of violence and prefer the more bloody and screaming kind of violence and punishment.
Section 1.
White Room and Static Noise torture is a particular favorite of Penelope Grace's list. Although it is more like mental torture, it is still considerably fun according to Penelope Grace. It isn't as bloody and messy as the other methods on this list.
In White Noise torture (or any variations of it), a person (the other party) is forced to sit or bend at some certain posture, continuously watching the white wall (nothing). At the same time, they will have a headphone over their ears while listening to boring and old static.
If Penelope Grace is feeling merciful, she will whip the other party good.
Section 2.
The casual beating with fist and teeth. Castiel the Angel of the Lord is a particular fan of this type of punishment. In fact, he used it on his boyfriend. Dean Winchester, many times.
Basically, it is a fight between the other party and a chosen demon. Knives, guns, and other weapons are allowed, depending on the situation or Grace & Steele's state of mind. The other party is guaranteed to be bloody and messy by the end of the fighting and wrestling.
Section 3.
If the other party, Your Name Here, happens to be a Destiel hater (or Holy Hell hater), Penelope Grace will personally set them up in Hell to be only viewing Destiel (or Holy Hell) fanfic on fanfiction.com or set them up in Hell with a laptop to be viewing all the Destiel (or Holy Hell or Knight of Hell/Angel of the Lord) love on tumblr.
Every person should realize that Penelope Grace, like many other demons, see more than air between them.
Plus, Alex Steele might personally burn the other party if they insult Destiel in front of her. However, Penelope Grace does read sister princesses, therefore Alex Steele may be more merciful than her.
Section 4.
Alex Steele requests the other party sings "Let it Go" for their tryouts to become a minion. However, Penelope Grace decides to change that into a punishment.
The other party, if deserving of punishment, shall forever and eternally sing "Let it Go" to himself/herself. In high soprano. Or alto. Tenor is acceptable.
Section 5.
Read Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. If worthy of such punishment. For forever and beyond Judgement Day.
Section 6.
If the other party dislikes exercising, he/she will be chased by one of the many hellhounds owned by Penelope Grace. It shall be noted that all are poorly fed and hungry for a damned soul.
Hellhounds are monstrous. They are used in the more severe punishments of Hell.
Section 7.
Endless amount of whips in the back or buttocks. It does not matter where the location it, but Penelope Grace guarantees it will hurt no matter which location the whip hits. The punishment will be endured for hours and hours of endless amounts of time. Penelope Grace will determine the amount of punishment.
If the other party fails drastically, then Penelope Grace will personally whip the other party, Your Name Here, until she has him or her screaming lyrics from songs written or sung by Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Gwen Stefani, Katy Perry, Colbie Caillat, and Britney Spears. Males will have further options from One Direction, Coldplay, Castiel, Passion Pit, and Capital Cities.
Note that these artists are a mixture of hated and favorites of Penelope Grace. She will not inform readers which are which.
Section 8.
The other party will visit other damned souls and be requested to hug people from serial killers to former spies to demons of both low and high power. Penelope Grace considers this to be a fairly light punishment unless the other party visits the Knights of Hell (such as Cain) or any other hideous demons.
Section 9.
The sugar factory. The other party, if worthy of punishment, will be packaging sugar into sugar bags.
Grace & Steele acknowledge that this is not an attempt to dominate the world, but it is rather an attempt to heal the burned bridge between the angels and the demons. Also, Grace & Steele likes the idea of a locked away Heaven.
Section 10.
If the other party hates Supernatural, they will be forced to watch every episode and season of it. Then Penelope Grace will request an essay of excellent quality. If the essay does not meet her standards, there will be ten lashes. Every time the other party fails to write an essay of excellent quality, the lashes increase by five.
They will watch Supernatural at least ten times in a single day of Hell's time, not earth's time. As they say, Hell goes by faster than earth or Heaven.
Section 11.
The other party will be forced to flirt with the pizza man for the rest of their sorry life, if they violated the Contract.
Section 12.
If violated the very long and extensive Contract, the other party, Your Name Here, will spend the rest of eternity in Hell reciting long articles including The Declaration of Independence, The United States Constitution, The Magna Carta, The British Bill of Rights, The Constitution of the Commonwealth of Virginia, Declaration of the Rights of Man and Citizen, Declaration of Sentiments, United Nation Charter, and the contract of Jared Padalecki with CW (Alternate Universe).
However, the other party will have a choice of choosing to recent the above or reciting a long list of Tumblr blogs dedicated to Castiel and Dean Winchester (otherwise known as Destiel and Holy Hell).
The third option, the most unpopular option, proves to be a long reading of books such as War and Peace to Lord of the Flies to The Outsiders to Jane Eyre to Pride & Prejudice. Other classics will be placed in consideration.
The fourth option, the never chosen one of all, is a permanent reading of a book. Well, a single book: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain. The other party will be forced to read it aloud while being spanked by a dominatrix, who will not be Penelope Grace or Alex Steele. The princesses of Hell have better things to do than spank a traitor's bottom and rear end.
Clause 1.
Penelope Grace will reconsider spanking the other party's buttocks, if 1) he/she is fairly attractive, and/or 2) he/she is a pretty boy/girl angel.
It is unknown if Alex Steele possesses any other considerations or exceptions to the last paragraph of Article 7, Section 12.
Section 13.
If violated the extensive and self-absorbed Contract, the other party may be simply placed in a prison with no food or water or human contact. Demons will not visit the prison either.
Section 14.
The other party may serve as a servant or whipping boy to demons.
Section 15.
The other party, if violated the extremely long Contract, may have to write an even longer essay (longer than the Contract, which is more than 10,000 words long and big).
Note: Penelope Grace is pleased to be authoring the very long and theoretically insane "Contract For Your Soul." Also, Penelope Grace does not believe in the fourth wall, but she will pretend it exists. Grace believes that writing an essay longer than the Contract is not the worst punishment ever.
Section 16.
The other party, if violated the Contract, will spend the rest of eternity with spiders larger than their fists.
Other insects and arachnids will be considered. They include Daddy Long Legs, scorpions, bees, ants, fire ants, household ants, vampires, silverfish, cockroaches, mosquitoes, moths, common house flies, termites, ticks, rolly pollies, woodlice, lice, hair lice, ringworm, worms, centipedes, and Justin Biebers.
Section 17.
The other party will be forced to endure long hours and videos of their parents fighting over the simplest things such as dishes, taxes, tax forms, money, tv, phones, affairs, mistresses, lovers, food, weight, diet, kids, blogs, ships, shipping names, hair, music, art, books, and other annoying subjects that are considered annoying to the other party, Your Name Here.
Section 18.
The other party will be forced to recite and remember this Contract. This Contract should be noteworthy for its length. It is longer than the United States Constitution, though it is not as long as the Constitution of Alabama.
Section 19.
The other party will be forced to read every blog post of Grace & Steele. If that proves to be not torturous enough, he or she or they will read every Destiel post that exists on the Internet along with watching the gifs of Destiel (all from the very neutral to highly explicit versions of Destiel's profound bond) and compare Wincest to Destiel. If that was not proven as a challenge, the other party will also compare Johnlock and Rose + the Doctor.
Other ships that may get involve are: Bella/Tyler's truck, Megstiel, Godstiel, Jessica/Sam Winchester, Paris/Dean Winchester, Crowley/Dean Winchester, Outlaw Queen, Swan Queen, Captain Swan, Sam/Lucifer, Sterek, Harry Potter/Ginny, Harry Potter/Hermione, Sheldon/Penny, Draco/Harry, and Neil Armstrong/My Little Ponies.
Section 20.
The other party, if dislikes Destiel and the very mention of it, will go watch Supernatural and look for every stare, touch, boner, smile, and look from Destiel. Naked scenes included.
Note: Penelope Grace realizes that haters will always hate. There is nothing anyone can do about it. Heaven hates demons, too. Unless... Oh, no. Our Overlord Lucifer is an archangel, therefore he does not count as a demon.
Section 21.
The other party, if violated the Contract, will go to every LGBT conference and parade as a ghost unless supports LGBT and its bright colors.
Note: Penelope Grace and Alex Steele supports LGBT. Why else would they ship the Angel of the Lord and the Knight of Hell together even though they are enemies of Grace & Steele?
Section 22.
The other party will be forced to be on their knees and wait upon Grace & Steele with shirts that proclaim Grace & Steele's favorite ships (including the ship RMS Titanic). They may be required to stand perfectly straight while holding bowls of chicken soup and a laptop in each hand.
Section 23.
Chinese Water Torture. It is not a particular favorite of Penelope Grace, but the other party might enjoy it once they reach the levels of insanity.
Section 24.
The cold cell may or may not be the favorite of Grace & Steele, but it shall be known to all that Hell isn't always hot. The cold cell torture method involves some ice and cold weather conditions in a cell.
Despite common knowledge, Hell uses both fire and ice to destroy their enemies. The demons simply are cold creatures with little mercy if having any at all.
Section 25.
Grace & Steele know personally how tedious writing could be. So they devised a technique to torture the other party into writing seventeen hundred novels while they are electrocuted by a telephone wire from the mid 80s.
Grace & Steele determined it may or may not be useful during the month of November, when NaNoWriMo is taking place. Camp NaNoWriMo is no exception, either. The torture device may work on those who are willing to write and want no reason to stop writing. Send email requests for participation in this torture to Grace & Steele (email address located obviously underneath the "About Us" tab).
Section 26.
Water dunking. It might be a fun game, but Penelope Grace says it is not. The punished will be taken to simple room where a bucket of ice cold water is waiting for them. For the rest of their sentencing (and/or eternity), they will be dunked in the ice cold water while being electrocuted, sleep deprived, and tired.
Water dunking won't cause death in Hell, because in Hell, everyone (with the exception of demons) is dead.
Section 27.
Killing copies of the ones the other party, Your Name Here, love. It is known that Heaven employs these tactics. Grace & Steele are willing to use this tactic and torture method and force the other party into killing their true love.
The Angel of the Lord has been tortured using this method, Penelope Grace unfortunately mentions. Hell, like Heaven, will employ the same method despite their archenemies using it on their servants.
Section 28.
Here at Grace & Steele, we have many ways of using the chair of torture. We will be using the many variations of breaking one's spine to punish those deserving of punishment. The prison guards will show no mercy.
Section 29.
The other party will go back to earth and haunt the world as a ghost. The other party will become vengeful and never live or survive in peace.
Section 30.
The other party, Your Name Here, will be used as suicide bombs against angels and any other enemy supernatural creatures.
Grace & Steele promise being a suicide bomb would hurt. A lot.
Section 31.
The other party, Your Name Here, will be forced to streak across America and its fellow continents in their birthday suits.
Section 32.
The other party, Your Name Here, may be forced to do endless amounts of mathematical problems and english problems on grammar, language, reading, and writing. There are no ends to the amount of questions on the test of schooling.
SAT questions and ACT questions may be used.
Section 33.
The other party will simply stand in the river of nothing forever.
Section 34.
The other party, Your Name Here, will write books and draw comics on the misadventures of Penelope Grace and Alex Steele.
Section 35.
Note: Grace & Steele may use any of the Section 1 to Section 34 punishments of Article 7 or use them all on the prisoner consecutively. Without mercy. All of the punishments and sentencing will be determined by Grace & Steele and the real King of Hell.
The amount of time will be determined by the failure of the other party, Your Name Here.
Article 8.
This Contract is written in accordance with Hell's laws, codes, rules, and unspoken agreements. This Contract does not follow city, county, state, country, region, or human laws (whether unspoken or acknowledged).
Once the other party, Your Name Here, has signed and sealed the Contract, the Contract is activated and used until the end of time and for all of eternity.
Heaven's laws do not apply, but spiritual laws do.
Article 9.
This article contains the very short or medium sized disclaimer and explanation of Penelope Grace's actions. Ignore this article, unless the reader wishes to read every word of this Contract.
Section 1.
Disclaimer.
(Penelope Grace wishes to switch from third person to first person and is stalling for another few words and sentences).
Alright, this is the crazy long Contract. I spent about five days (a week at most) working on this. It is technically an epic love note to Supernatural and other tv shows, books, movies, songs, etc. Maybe not movies. I can't recall a single movie I referenced. Do you?
Probably not.
First of all, Alex and I are not really demons. Or demon princesses. No, we do not hate the current King of Hell (we love you, Mark Sheppard! And Crowley!) or Dean Winchester (we love you too!) or Castiel (we love you most!). But for Halloween, we simply wanted to put on some decorations and throw some laughs before NaNoWriMo comes. And... because it is Halloween.
Second, this Contract is not real and won't be considered real if Grace & Steele and any other signatures happen upon a Contract. This Contract is a joke. A very long, 10,000+ words joke. That happens to be longer than the US Constitution.
Third, Alex did in fact participate in some parts of the Contract (like inspired parts of the Contract), but I wrote the whole thing. All those words, yes. So if there is a grammar error or an insult in there, it is solely my fault. I apologize for any offense and note that this is purely for entertainment reasons.
Finally, I would like to thank you all for reading this crazy Contract from beginning to end. Or if you simply skipped to the end. Either way, I hope you enjoyed the humor and craziness of the demon persona of Grace & Steele. And no, we are not 1) the anti-christ, 2) pro-Lucifer (though we do like Mark P.), 3) insane (though I might be, and Alex might be on the brink of being one insane patient), and 4) serious.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the day and my Contract. If you like it, please comment or share. Or subscribe. We do like having readers and people who understand our humor.
Thank you, guys. Please know that we love you too.
Conclusion.
I agree with all the following rules, requests, orders, and deals above. I will follow them to the best of my will and wit. I give up my rights and relinquish them to Grace & Steele, the two demon princesses.
X_______________________ (The Other Party, Your Name Here)
X_______________________ (Penelope Grace, Demon Princess of Thrones)
X_______________________ (Alex Steele, Demon Princess of Blood)
If the other party, Your Name Here, happens to be a Destiel hater (or Holy Hell hater), Penelope Grace will personally set them up in Hell to be only viewing Destiel (or Holy Hell) fanfic on fanfiction.com or set them up in Hell with a laptop to be viewing all the Destiel (or Holy Hell or Knight of Hell/Angel of the Lord) love on tumblr.
Every person should realize that Penelope Grace, like many other demons, see more than air between them.
Plus, Alex Steele might personally burn the other party if they insult Destiel in front of her. However, Penelope Grace does read sister princesses, therefore Alex Steele may be more merciful than her.
Section 4.
Alex Steele requests the other party sings "Let it Go" for their tryouts to become a minion. However, Penelope Grace decides to change that into a punishment.
The other party, if deserving of punishment, shall forever and eternally sing "Let it Go" to himself/herself. In high soprano. Or alto. Tenor is acceptable.
Section 5.
Read Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. If worthy of such punishment. For forever and beyond Judgement Day.
Section 6.
If the other party dislikes exercising, he/she will be chased by one of the many hellhounds owned by Penelope Grace. It shall be noted that all are poorly fed and hungry for a damned soul.
Hellhounds are monstrous. They are used in the more severe punishments of Hell.
Section 7.
Endless amount of whips in the back or buttocks. It does not matter where the location it, but Penelope Grace guarantees it will hurt no matter which location the whip hits. The punishment will be endured for hours and hours of endless amounts of time. Penelope Grace will determine the amount of punishment.
If the other party fails drastically, then Penelope Grace will personally whip the other party, Your Name Here, until she has him or her screaming lyrics from songs written or sung by Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Gwen Stefani, Katy Perry, Colbie Caillat, and Britney Spears. Males will have further options from One Direction, Coldplay, Castiel, Passion Pit, and Capital Cities.
Note that these artists are a mixture of hated and favorites of Penelope Grace. She will not inform readers which are which.
Section 8.
The other party will visit other damned souls and be requested to hug people from serial killers to former spies to demons of both low and high power. Penelope Grace considers this to be a fairly light punishment unless the other party visits the Knights of Hell (such as Cain) or any other hideous demons.
Section 9.
The sugar factory. The other party, if worthy of punishment, will be packaging sugar into sugar bags.
Grace & Steele acknowledge that this is not an attempt to dominate the world, but it is rather an attempt to heal the burned bridge between the angels and the demons. Also, Grace & Steele likes the idea of a locked away Heaven.
Section 10.
If the other party hates Supernatural, they will be forced to watch every episode and season of it. Then Penelope Grace will request an essay of excellent quality. If the essay does not meet her standards, there will be ten lashes. Every time the other party fails to write an essay of excellent quality, the lashes increase by five.
They will watch Supernatural at least ten times in a single day of Hell's time, not earth's time. As they say, Hell goes by faster than earth or Heaven.
Section 11.
The other party will be forced to flirt with the pizza man for the rest of their sorry life, if they violated the Contract.
Section 12.
If violated the very long and extensive Contract, the other party, Your Name Here, will spend the rest of eternity in Hell reciting long articles including The Declaration of Independence, The United States Constitution, The Magna Carta, The British Bill of Rights, The Constitution of the Commonwealth of Virginia, Declaration of the Rights of Man and Citizen, Declaration of Sentiments, United Nation Charter, and the contract of Jared Padalecki with CW (Alternate Universe).
However, the other party will have a choice of choosing to recent the above or reciting a long list of Tumblr blogs dedicated to Castiel and Dean Winchester (otherwise known as Destiel and Holy Hell).
The third option, the most unpopular option, proves to be a long reading of books such as War and Peace to Lord of the Flies to The Outsiders to Jane Eyre to Pride & Prejudice. Other classics will be placed in consideration.
The fourth option, the never chosen one of all, is a permanent reading of a book. Well, a single book: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain. The other party will be forced to read it aloud while being spanked by a dominatrix, who will not be Penelope Grace or Alex Steele. The princesses of Hell have better things to do than spank a traitor's bottom and rear end.
Clause 1.
Penelope Grace will reconsider spanking the other party's buttocks, if 1) he/she is fairly attractive, and/or 2) he/she is a pretty boy/girl angel.
It is unknown if Alex Steele possesses any other considerations or exceptions to the last paragraph of Article 7, Section 12.
Section 13.
If violated the extensive and self-absorbed Contract, the other party may be simply placed in a prison with no food or water or human contact. Demons will not visit the prison either.
Section 14.
The other party may serve as a servant or whipping boy to demons.
Section 15.
The other party, if violated the extremely long Contract, may have to write an even longer essay (longer than the Contract, which is more than 10,000 words long and big).
Note: Penelope Grace is pleased to be authoring the very long and theoretically insane "Contract For Your Soul." Also, Penelope Grace does not believe in the fourth wall, but she will pretend it exists. Grace believes that writing an essay longer than the Contract is not the worst punishment ever.
Section 16.
The other party, if violated the Contract, will spend the rest of eternity with spiders larger than their fists.
Other insects and arachnids will be considered. They include Daddy Long Legs, scorpions, bees, ants, fire ants, household ants, vampires, silverfish, cockroaches, mosquitoes, moths, common house flies, termites, ticks, rolly pollies, woodlice, lice, hair lice, ringworm, worms, centipedes, and Justin Biebers.
Section 17.
The other party will be forced to endure long hours and videos of their parents fighting over the simplest things such as dishes, taxes, tax forms, money, tv, phones, affairs, mistresses, lovers, food, weight, diet, kids, blogs, ships, shipping names, hair, music, art, books, and other annoying subjects that are considered annoying to the other party, Your Name Here.
Section 18.
The other party will be forced to recite and remember this Contract. This Contract should be noteworthy for its length. It is longer than the United States Constitution, though it is not as long as the Constitution of Alabama.
Section 19.
The other party will be forced to read every blog post of Grace & Steele. If that proves to be not torturous enough, he or she or they will read every Destiel post that exists on the Internet along with watching the gifs of Destiel (all from the very neutral to highly explicit versions of Destiel's profound bond) and compare Wincest to Destiel. If that was not proven as a challenge, the other party will also compare Johnlock and Rose + the Doctor.
Other ships that may get involve are: Bella/Tyler's truck, Megstiel, Godstiel, Jessica/Sam Winchester, Paris/Dean Winchester, Crowley/Dean Winchester, Outlaw Queen, Swan Queen, Captain Swan, Sam/Lucifer, Sterek, Harry Potter/Ginny, Harry Potter/Hermione, Sheldon/Penny, Draco/Harry, and Neil Armstrong/My Little Ponies.
Section 20.
The other party, if dislikes Destiel and the very mention of it, will go watch Supernatural and look for every stare, touch, boner, smile, and look from Destiel. Naked scenes included.
Note: Penelope Grace realizes that haters will always hate. There is nothing anyone can do about it. Heaven hates demons, too. Unless... Oh, no. Our Overlord Lucifer is an archangel, therefore he does not count as a demon.
Section 21.
The other party, if violated the Contract, will go to every LGBT conference and parade as a ghost unless supports LGBT and its bright colors.
Note: Penelope Grace and Alex Steele supports LGBT. Why else would they ship the Angel of the Lord and the Knight of Hell together even though they are enemies of Grace & Steele?
Section 22.
The other party will be forced to be on their knees and wait upon Grace & Steele with shirts that proclaim Grace & Steele's favorite ships (including the ship RMS Titanic). They may be required to stand perfectly straight while holding bowls of chicken soup and a laptop in each hand.
Section 23.
Chinese Water Torture. It is not a particular favorite of Penelope Grace, but the other party might enjoy it once they reach the levels of insanity.
Section 24.
The cold cell may or may not be the favorite of Grace & Steele, but it shall be known to all that Hell isn't always hot. The cold cell torture method involves some ice and cold weather conditions in a cell.
Despite common knowledge, Hell uses both fire and ice to destroy their enemies. The demons simply are cold creatures with little mercy if having any at all.
Section 25.
Grace & Steele know personally how tedious writing could be. So they devised a technique to torture the other party into writing seventeen hundred novels while they are electrocuted by a telephone wire from the mid 80s.
Grace & Steele determined it may or may not be useful during the month of November, when NaNoWriMo is taking place. Camp NaNoWriMo is no exception, either. The torture device may work on those who are willing to write and want no reason to stop writing. Send email requests for participation in this torture to Grace & Steele (email address located obviously underneath the "About Us" tab).
Section 26.
Water dunking. It might be a fun game, but Penelope Grace says it is not. The punished will be taken to simple room where a bucket of ice cold water is waiting for them. For the rest of their sentencing (and/or eternity), they will be dunked in the ice cold water while being electrocuted, sleep deprived, and tired.
Water dunking won't cause death in Hell, because in Hell, everyone (with the exception of demons) is dead.
Section 27.
Killing copies of the ones the other party, Your Name Here, love. It is known that Heaven employs these tactics. Grace & Steele are willing to use this tactic and torture method and force the other party into killing their true love.
The Angel of the Lord has been tortured using this method, Penelope Grace unfortunately mentions. Hell, like Heaven, will employ the same method despite their archenemies using it on their servants.
Section 28.
Here at Grace & Steele, we have many ways of using the chair of torture. We will be using the many variations of breaking one's spine to punish those deserving of punishment. The prison guards will show no mercy.
Section 29.
The other party will go back to earth and haunt the world as a ghost. The other party will become vengeful and never live or survive in peace.
Section 30.
The other party, Your Name Here, will be used as suicide bombs against angels and any other enemy supernatural creatures.
Grace & Steele promise being a suicide bomb would hurt. A lot.
Section 31.
The other party, Your Name Here, will be forced to streak across America and its fellow continents in their birthday suits.
Section 32.
The other party, Your Name Here, may be forced to do endless amounts of mathematical problems and english problems on grammar, language, reading, and writing. There are no ends to the amount of questions on the test of schooling.
SAT questions and ACT questions may be used.
Section 33.
The other party will simply stand in the river of nothing forever.
Section 34.
The other party, Your Name Here, will write books and draw comics on the misadventures of Penelope Grace and Alex Steele.
Section 35.
Note: Grace & Steele may use any of the Section 1 to Section 34 punishments of Article 7 or use them all on the prisoner consecutively. Without mercy. All of the punishments and sentencing will be determined by Grace & Steele and the real King of Hell.
The amount of time will be determined by the failure of the other party, Your Name Here.
Article 8.
This Contract is written in accordance with Hell's laws, codes, rules, and unspoken agreements. This Contract does not follow city, county, state, country, region, or human laws (whether unspoken or acknowledged).
Once the other party, Your Name Here, has signed and sealed the Contract, the Contract is activated and used until the end of time and for all of eternity.
Heaven's laws do not apply, but spiritual laws do.
Article 9.
This article contains the very short or medium sized disclaimer and explanation of Penelope Grace's actions. Ignore this article, unless the reader wishes to read every word of this Contract.
Section 1.
Disclaimer.
(Penelope Grace wishes to switch from third person to first person and is stalling for another few words and sentences).
Alright, this is the crazy long Contract. I spent about five days (a week at most) working on this. It is technically an epic love note to Supernatural and other tv shows, books, movies, songs, etc. Maybe not movies. I can't recall a single movie I referenced. Do you?
Probably not.
First of all, Alex and I are not really demons. Or demon princesses. No, we do not hate the current King of Hell (we love you, Mark Sheppard! And Crowley!) or Dean Winchester (we love you too!) or Castiel (we love you most!). But for Halloween, we simply wanted to put on some decorations and throw some laughs before NaNoWriMo comes. And... because it is Halloween.
Second, this Contract is not real and won't be considered real if Grace & Steele and any other signatures happen upon a Contract. This Contract is a joke. A very long, 10,000+ words joke. That happens to be longer than the US Constitution.
Third, Alex did in fact participate in some parts of the Contract (like inspired parts of the Contract), but I wrote the whole thing. All those words, yes. So if there is a grammar error or an insult in there, it is solely my fault. I apologize for any offense and note that this is purely for entertainment reasons.
Finally, I would like to thank you all for reading this crazy Contract from beginning to end. Or if you simply skipped to the end. Either way, I hope you enjoyed the humor and craziness of the demon persona of Grace & Steele. And no, we are not 1) the anti-christ, 2) pro-Lucifer (though we do like Mark P.), 3) insane (though I might be, and Alex might be on the brink of being one insane patient), and 4) serious.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the day and my Contract. If you like it, please comment or share. Or subscribe. We do like having readers and people who understand our humor.
Thank you, guys. Please know that we love you too.
Conclusion.
I agree with all the following rules, requests, orders, and deals above. I will follow them to the best of my will and wit. I give up my rights and relinquish them to Grace & Steele, the two demon princesses.
X_______________________ (The Other Party, Your Name Here)
X_______________________ (Penelope Grace, Demon Princess of Thrones)
X_______________________ (Alex Steele, Demon Princess of Blood)
Don't we get a wish? Also I won't do ten years, I'd like more than that please, and no hell hounds. So Lucifer is back? Sorry I've already signed with Crowley.
ReplyDeleteI followed in all of the ways. Please don't feed me to the hellhounds!
lol @ recommending friends to the blog and not being aloud to think of exorcising you. No killing bad teachers, just condemn them to hell or let the hounds play with them for a bit.
Oh, you have to be of healthy mind? Guess I'm out.
What's the twerking pudding incident? Nevermind, I don't want to know.
Those questions are getting kinda personal. Ah well you never said I had to answer honestly. ;)
Crowley. We don't like Crowley very much. But we are happy to help break his contracts.
DeleteTrue, true. Here at the demonic Grace & Steele, we don't mind having a couple of liars hanging around. Just as long as they aren't advertising about how much their sister-in-laws make.
Haha, oh my god, your reply is just perfect Molly! As Grace said we're willing to help you break your agreement with Crowley. A wish? hmm. We may have to confer with the overlord about that.
DeleteObviously, I need to know more about shipping Neil Armstrong & My Little Ponies. This is something I can get behind. I also need to know which of the singers are favorites and which are hated. Sure, I can make some guesses, but I kind of want to break the agreement so I can find out for sure. Incidentally, Rihanna's voice makes my ears bleed. I am not sure if this is good or bad news in the demonic underworld.
ReplyDeleteThis post was hilarious, and honestly, quite impressive!
Aww. Thank you. And yes, I found out about Armstrong/My Little Ponies after some deep searching on the web. Very weird stuff.
DeleteI can tell you that I don't mind Colbie Caillat, Katy Perry (her older songs), and some other singers. And I don't like Rihanna either. If I have to listen Sia or Rihanna, I'll pick Sia.
I need to know more about shipping Neil Armstrong & My Little Ponies. This is something I can get behind. best electric cheese grater
ReplyDelete